What California does to you

In silicon valley, we have the very successful techno nerds..

They have got very restrictive vehicle emission rules and thus very special vehicles...


In resource rich California, drugs and brooze is readily available. In one of the richest state anywhere, you will still not have access to everything.


If you decide to use your brains and stop pumping iron, this WILL happen to you!



Ha ha ha!

Some definitive LOSER

You know the "L" sign you create with your righthand and put over your forehead to let the target loser knows that they are losers? Well, there are some less embarassing ways to find out if you are a loser.

If you own or is given any of these products, chances are you are a loser or your friends thinks you are a loser.

She looks everybit the Japanese high scholl girl you have been lusting after. Look at the eyes, the uniform, all the way down to the white stockings all emit highscholl sex kitten charms. However having this on your lounge chair or stashed away in the cupboard is a clear sign that you are a loser.

You should get rid of this on ebay ASAP.

Don't throw this out in the dumpster and give some minimum-wage janitor a bad scare. Package it nicely so the guy can enjoy it at home.

This is actually a hot sellin gproduct in Japan (yeah, go figure...) I would have imagined that Japanese girls mastered the word "cute" in this universe. Now why would such a product be a best seller in a country where I thought every other girl is cute? Maybe the Japanese men are spending too much time at "work". Any Japanese women out there can apply to sleep under my armpits. I recon I'll accept 50% of the applicants. My charges are the same USD $76 for an estimated use of 4 times a month for 6 months. No fat chicks thank you.

Next, the Japanese male losers are in for a threat of lap pillows.

How the .... dun ask me, I only deliver the message. Apparently, this is also a hot product in Japan. Which will lead us to our next product.

The H-Rated T-shirt. H is the rating Japan use for over sexed. Maniac level grading I would say. It is a social service to label yourself "H" to warn fellow cute Japanese schoolgirls.

Defining the Bitch

Having been on the receiving end too often, I'm going to reveal the qualities of the worst species of woman, the Feminus Obnoxium , otherwise known as "the bitch."

Understand the difference between the two. Excessively dominant women may, in fact, mean well. They may even think that they're helping people. They honestly believe that their way is better, but due to personal insecurities or naiveté, they come off as domineering.

The bitch, on the other hand, is pure evil. She cares for no one but herself. She gladly tramples her way through every situation, not caring about who she hurts along the way, just about getting what she wants. To make matters worse, even when her demands are met, she's never satisfied with anything.

If you're in the hands of such a beast, you may already suspect it. But here's the definitive list that might prove it.


Number 10

She is self-centered
To a bitch, the only person in the world of any importance is herself. Others are merely warm bodies who get in the way of her selfish pursuits. She is the only person affected by a tragedy. The only feelings worth considering are hers. A bitch is so obsessed with herself that she would rather get a manicure than visit your father in the hospital.
No one should have to tolerate this kind of superiority complex -- especially a good man, who tends to be the preferred victim of the bitch.


Number 9

She criticizes everything about you
Shaming is a common tactic women use to control their men. The bitch takes this to the extreme. By making you feel inadequate in every domain, she hopes to make you lose your self-confidence, then rely on her to do things "right." Nothing is good enough for her, and you are the only one, aside from her bitch friends, who actually listens. So she nags about everything you say and do.


Number 8

She's cold-hearted
A bitch is typically amoral, adhering minimally to the ethical codes of society while transgressing those that are inconvenient to her. She dismisses civility for her own gains. She's manipulative and scheming, always looking for underhanded ways of taking advantage of people or even hurting them. And as proof that she lacks a woman's gentle soul, she never cries or shows soft emotion. She would not be there at your deathbed. She'll tell you to go seek your maker yourself, she has no time to console you.


Number 7

She expects to be treated like a queen
A bitch is usually a spoiled brat who simply refuses to grow up. She was pampered and adored as a child, and typically given anything she asked for. As an adult, she still thinks she is entitled to everything. She consistently expects car rides, gifts and attention from you. She makes constant demands of people, and never listens to their requests. There is no fixing such a person; it's programmed into her. Only by being denied several times will she begin to get a clue.


Number 6

She slights you in bed
You want to know just how heartless such a woman can be? Not only does she not appreciate all the effort you put into pleasing her sexually, she also has the gall to ridicule you. But she'll pick the oddest times to do so, such as during an unrelated argument or just randomly in passing. This could be a cruel comment about your size, stamina or technique. More grating still is the fact that she would go crazy if you were to reciprocate the slur.


Number 5

She treats people like trash
As someone who believes luxury treatment is owed to her, a bitch has no respect for those who do things for her. She's rude to people who work in the service industry, such as waiters and clerks, seeing them not as human beings, but as robots who exist solely to serve her. She talks at them -- not to them.
She has no compassion for people in need, such as the poor or the sick. "It's their own fault," she'll tell herself and others. More sickening still, she's mean to children, as they are a nuisance and can't do anything for her. And since her existence dwells on envy, she constantly badmouths other women over trivial things, such as their earrings or the way they speak.


Number 4

She never pays
As she thinks that it is the duty of others to provide for her, the bitch is a tightwad. On dates she always selects expensive restaurants and orders the priciest dish and drink, but never offers to pay. She won't pitch in for gas on trips or for food at a get-together. She buys crappy gifts for others, when she can be bothered, usually expecting you to pay for them. And if you mention any of these things, she'll accuse you of being cheap!


Number 3

She bosses you around


A bitch's massive superiority complex makes her think people are born to be her servants, especially her boyfriend. As someone who spends a lot of his time with her, she uses you to do all the menial tasks that she doesn't want to. Sometimes she'll even boss you around for the power trip -- just because she can.


Number 2

She embarrasses you in public
A bitch cares nothing about the feelings of others, not even those of the hapless sap she may be dating. In fact, she uses her man as a punching bag. Sometimes she even berates him in front of his friends, or even hers. She does this either as a power trip, to show others she can, or simply to beat a man's self-worth down to her own level -- after all, misery loves company.


Number 1

She flirts with other men
This is the most intolerable trait of a bitch, which many men sadly tolerate. She'll tease and allure other men right in front of you, never once considering how you may feel about it. There are no bounds to her search for attention and admiration. And to top it off, she'll wheedle whatever feelings of jealousy she can from you by comparing you to other men.

ditch the bitch

It's a strange phenomenon of life. So many good men somehow end up with the cold, abusive woman I just described. They may think they can help her, or even more tragically, they may believe they can't do any better. But no man should have to put up with someone who treats him like a pest. If your woman has any of the forementioned traits, it may be time to seek out a woman who is worth your while.

Expose yourself to Art

Money is not everything. You should expose yourself to art...

I am not the only one who thought they are gay...

Batman and Robin
Ha!

Bert and Ernie

Sesame Streets Rox!

Catmania!!

With Chub's foray into topics, here's sharing with you a few pics of cats....

Bored? You can always turn your cat into a CatLamp

A bored cat will do just when you do when you are bored... play solitaire! on the computer!

Mid-Autumn festival is coming.... Nothing like a hand made helmet for your cat.


A big fat pussy!

Fido got reincarnated in a cat's body. Here's Fideo looking for clues after the storm trooper left...

Bring your cat when you travel!

Snowball is traveling again!

Move out!

What does "Move out means?"

"I dunno, but I think he means we can start eating"

Cat caught sleeping with the enemy(mouse)

New Lappie

Ok...Here it is, the happy tale of AL5pinki. After much trial's and trivalations, I've finally managed to complete my Wedding Studio photo shoots and I will finally see the Happiness in the other half's face when she sees the finished products.

As for me, it will be my final payment for my wedding expenses. Yippeeeee! As a friend/friends once told me, it is really a reset of my bank account and I can tell you its been on my head forever!!

Of course now the next thing is like all "normal" couples do, the "little bugger" as another colleague so fondly puts it and that's another story and era.

As for marriage as a whole, well he he, that's for me & my married friends to know and for the single fellows to find out :)

For now it's just settling the "i owe u's" and making sure I can still afford to change my undewear which have holes.

News Flash

1. Wisconsin, hit by nearly 20 tornadoes, starts cleanup. 18 (perhaps more) Tornadoes touch downs. Miranda was still telling me about the fine weather in Brookfield.... Time to check on your cheesehead friends to make sure they went drinking in IL instead of staying in WI. No reports on Brookfield, Waukesau, Pewaukee and Milwaukee.

2. According to reliable sources, Russ Mayer is the man. Hail! to the new emperor!

3. DELL shares are on the way down just as all my DELL laptops and desktops are in the emergency ward, waiting for a new lease of life. My self assembled ASUS workstation beats DELL anytime.

4. I now have in my procession a WINMAU British competition standard bristle dartsboard. We can play blowdarts!!! :D

5. We are not alone! The TRUTH is out there. At least 1 other person other than ourselves reads our blog!

Community Message: Is somebody going to write about Labrador Park?

Maiden Post

Ok...Here it comes at long last. :P ...

I've been dying to write my maiden blog but i'll have to admit that procrastination and no late nite calls with nothing to do hasn't really come my way. That said, I still do not have that privilage like my colleagues but here i am.

I am so whacked from being holed in a stuffy & dusty construction area in one of Singapore's premier health education facility to complete a major milestone in my company's history that I did not realise that I am starting to completely forget how to have fun.

So here it is.

We recently completed a really fun tresure hunt and one would typically be cursing if one got hurt in the process. I'd have to admit that I had never expected what would come my way. I realised that after 2.5 years living in Singapore, all I know about it is Tiong Bahru, Geylang, Tanjong Pagar massage place, Old Airport Road, Changi Airport, Hooters, City hall, Seiyu, Cold Storage, Purvis Street and the area around Raffles Place...

Damn...It is so bloody pathetic. I would have found out more than the average Singaporean if I had been here 10 years ago...(oops pls don't start counting the age) and all I can think of is makan, massage, sleep and where the "hip" places are so that I can talk cool (cos' I really don't patronise them)

One good thing I discovered also was, if it wasn't for this fun bunch I know now, I'd be a rotten old fart sitting at home watching CNA and still trying to make my 1st thousand Sing Dollars from the "business update".

All said my experience has also encompased some wild outings that include exotic wine tasting, which is something i have grown to appreciate but still can't tell the difference. I've also never fell short of looking for the ultimate pig out places in Singapore. If in doubt, there are always at least one guy/gal who would be willing to be a pig with me. Not bad especially considering that I felt like a loner comming to a city full of health concious freaks...!!! where men actually go on diets!!! Oh my!!

I'm the kind who thinks that god put me here and not in Africa if he wanted me to be thin...:)

Oh yes one more thing. The tresure hunt was so much fun that I busted my buttocks cos I didn't have enought arse cushions when sliding down one monster slide and twisted my knee ligaments from an old injury when I fell into some gratings and still feel that I would do it all again just to know that I feel alive.

So guys, lez get going...you know know I'm depraved...

Till the next time....Happy Pinkying!!

Nose Dive

All red! Die la! Only play with the lampa Beng translator lor...

Painkillers

Drugs worn out in the middle of the night... pain until cannot get back to bed and the balance is downstairs. Screwed.

What's happening to our Blog?

Something seems to be wrong with the font colors... shake shake shake

Bo pian... changed template to achieve this result... otherwise all the stuff goes wayang...

Hivox Snore Stopper

Saw this on the net .... it is an electronic snore stopper that sends and electric shocker to the wearer when the device detects a snore.

Is snoring serious?

Yes, both socially and medically.

Socially speaking, snoring is disruptive to family life. It makes the snorer an object of ridicule and causes other household members sleepless nights and resentfulness. Not to mention if you are sleeping at the bottom of the stairwell which acts as an amplifier for the snore, plus the back rest, handrest of the sofabed acts as ear cups to concentrate the 110 decibel snore. I suspect some folks are going deaf due to their partner's snoring.

Medically speaking, snoring disturbs the sleeping patterns of the snorer her/himself, so that s/he may not sleep restfully, and becomes less alert or productive during the day.

Futhermore, heavy snoring maybe an early warning sign of a dangerous medical condition known as Obstructive Sleep Apnea. A person with this condition actually stops breathing while asleep. When you don't breathe, the oxygen level in your blood is reduced. Then, this will cause serious medical problems. Many researchers found that about 40% of sleep apnea patients will have the complication of hypertension. Besides, people with sleep apnea have a higher risk of heart disease ( 2 times ), ischemic heart attack ( 3 times ), and stroke ( 4 times )

After reading all that, you would think that I deserve a snore stopper?!! Well maybe, but wouldn't it be fun to locate the deep/dead sound sleeper and strape this to his/her wrist. Then proceed to sleep and snore away. If they can sleep through your snore, it is time they get some jolts from your snoring!

Prank Pinky

12 Types Of Women You Should Date

Finding a good woman these days isn't always easy, especially in an era when the female gender is typically self-centered and "empowered" to sex-ploit the male population. Still, there are a lot of good women out there, even though it's not always easy to find them.
In a previous article, you learned about the types of women to avoid -- now it's time to examine the kinds of women you should actively be looking for.

Here's a list of women with traits that would make any guy happy:

1- Miss Sweet
Miss Sweet is a woman who's positive, content with her life, always upbeat -- and just a blast to be around. She's a genuine person without a bitch bone in her body. She's always truly happy to see you and you find yourself looking forward to spending time with her. Miss Sweets are usually snapped up out of the dating market right away, so they're pretty rare. But if you can find one, you've got a real treasure on your hands.

2- Miss Equality
This type of woman is a true feminist -- not one of the radical man-haters, or the hypocritical pseudo-feminists who think that equality means "I demand equal rights and an equal salary, but a man still has to pay for me." The Miss Equalitys of the world genuinely like men, and understand that equality means equality across the board, from holding the door open to fighting on the front lines. They believe that a relationship should be a 50/50 partnership, and are more than willing to shoulder their half of the responsibilities and dating expenses -- just because it's the right thing to do.

3- Miss Sexual
You should be so lucky to encounter one of these! Miss Sexual loves men and loves sex -- and makes no bones about it. She's not selling it, she's not using it as a tool to manipulate men -- she just naturally craves it. Miss Sexual is not to be confused with a nymphomaniac, who suffers from psychological problems -- rather, she has somehow bypassed the female societal training of auctioning off the use of her vagina to the highest bidder. For this reason, most other women hate her, because she's giving it away free of charge. But men love her because she's a free spirit who's actually honest about her sex drive. Very rare, but worth searching the ends of the earth for.

4- Miss Best Friend
Closely aligned with Miss Sweet, Miss Best Friend is another joy to be around. She's the kind of woman you're totally in sync with -- you like the same things, watch the same TV shows, enjoy going to the same places. You can spend five minutes with her and think you've known her for years. She's always on your side, laughs at all your jokes, and calls you just to say "hi" because she genuinely misses you. She's great just to hang with. A word of warning, though -- with Miss Best Friend, you have to make your sexual interest known from day one because if she gets it into her head that you are going to be "just friends," it's almost impossible to change her mind.

5- Miss Straightforward
This is the type of woman who knows how to communicate . With Miss Straightforward, there are no games, no expecting men to be mind readers, no behavior based on ridiculous, female-biased advice from articles in Cosmo or The Rules . Miss Straightforward will pick up the phone and ask you out. She will do what she says she will do -- not say one thing and do just the opposite. Although she may be blunt at times, at least you'll know where you stand and you'll never have to spend hours trying to decode contradictory or emotion-based female behavior.

6- Miss Independent
This is a good woman to find if you don't have a lot of time to invest in a relationship or you're the type of guy who needs a lot of space. Miss Independent has a real life of her own and is happily going in her own positive direction. She's the type who wants a man in her life, but doesn't need a man in her life. And she certainly isn't looking for men to solve all her problems or blame when things don't go her way.

7- Miss Loyal
Miss Loyal will never cheat on you or constantly be on the lookout for a "better deal." When you go out, she won't be scanning the room for other guys, but will keep her attention focused on you, the man in her life. She's also more apt to stick around if times get tough.

8- Miss No Pressure
While many women are chomping at the bit to get married, Miss No Pressure hasn't fallen prey to any such agenda. She's happy just to be with you. So you don't get any, "Where is our relationship going?", or hint-dropping about the future, or window-shopping at the jewelry store. She may want to get married at some point, but she's in no hurry -- she thinks that if it happens, it will just happen naturally.

9- Miss Secure
Miss Secure accepts herself as she is and is comfortable with her good points, as well as her bad. And she feels the same about you. Miss Secure doesn't need constant attention to shore up a sagging ego, has tons of self-esteem, and is always going in her own positive direction.

10- Miss Personality
Miss Personality is a great find. She might not be up for first prize in a beauty contest (although she could be), but her intelligence, wit and sparkling presence just light up the room, and she draws people like a magnet. Her personality is so charming that it easily overcomes any deficiencies she might have in the looks department, just because she's so great to be with.

11- Miss Low Maintenance
The rarest of the rare, Miss Low Maintenance is the most atypical of modern women. She really doesn't care about how much money you have -- she just likes you for yourself and not for what she can take from you. She's likely to be a true feminist, and will gladly pay her share of the dating expenses. If you can find a Miss Low Maintenance, hang on to her for dear life!

12- Miss Right For You
A lot of guys choose women who are "arm candy" -- good-looking trophy girlfriends who bolster their status among other men or counteract their own insecurities. That's all well and good, but if you find a woman who makes you happy, regardless of looks, age or social status -- or what any other guy thinks -- then you have definitely won at the mating game.


the right woman is out there

It's sad to say, but these types of women are becoming more and more scarce in today's world, so if you can find one of them, you'd better be prepared to act fast, because every other guy out there wants her, too. But if you keep this list in mind, and keep your eyes open, you just might get lucky!

12 Types Of Women To Avoid

Source: stolen from some URL that I cannot remember...

Every single one of us has made mistakes with women. We've been conned, duped and dazed by physical attraction. We've made fools of ourselves by kissing the feet of females who treated us like dirt. We've wasted countless hours and spent small fortunes chasing after women who lied to us and used us, and turned out to be rotten.

But do we learn from our experiences? No. Every time we think it's going to be different. We think if we just try harder, or do one little thing differently, the result will change.

Well, it's not going to change. If you keep pursuing the same kind of woman, you'll just get your heart broken over and over again.

Keep a watchful eye out for the following list of women, and you'll be one step closer to curing yourself of habitual bitch-dating:

1- Miss Feminist
This woman postulates that all the ills of society are orchestrated by men and the best thing a man can do to improve himself is cut off his testicles and grow a pair of ovaries. She believes that women are angelic creatures who would make the world a utopia if only the male "patriarchy" would allow them to. Any woman who promotes these absurdities lives in a fantasy world and will have no problem at all treating a man in a way that she would never herself abide by. You can easily identify her by her incessant mantra, "All men think with their penises." Avoid her at all costs.

Arch: As I mentioned in previous posts, this is an instant turn off for guys. To Ms Feminist, sexual equality is cutting off a guys genitals. I think these women are cock envy, emotionally unbalanced because deep down inside, they wanted one too. The extrovert types will one day buy strap-ons for a sexual roles reversal. Guys who married Ms Feminist, lube your buns. Unfortunately there are countries in the world (India, Iraq etc) that women have so little rights that the Feminist almost seems justified. Women in the first world who has never spent more than a year in the third world use library materials and holiday shots to justify their own feminist actions. However, even the most hardcore of a straight (heterosexual) feminist knows that such talk is trash and an instant turn off for men. If a man matters to her, she knows better and would leave the feminist stuff for others she is not interested in. If a woman starts yapping about bra-burning and feminist movement. RUN!

Watch out for women that could not hide their enthusiasm in movies where girls kick guy's asses. Example: Charlie's Angel, Charlie's Angel II. Kill Bill 1&2 is more of a gore movie than girl kicks guys' asses movie. You can never win on Ms Feminist. If men are more successful, to Ms Feminist, it is sexual inequality. What equality are we talking about when women can sleep their way to the top? Guys will have to turn gay to follow suit.

Personally, I think it is much easier to spread your legs than to spread your buns. Look at the ex-HP CEO cum Chairman -- Carly Fiorina who bested COMPAQ's Michael Capellas to the top seat and later outsed HP heir and took the role of chairman. What did she do? She turned a very profitable printer company to a mundane non-performing IT company. Where's the feminist voices here? Guys, turn yourself gay or become the chauvenist pig the feminists narzis are so against. Dump the bitch!

2- Miss Take
She's out for your money -- pure and simple. Miss Take is the ultimate in high maintenance. She expects a man to finance her entire life just because she is biologically female. To her, a man should pay for drinks, dinners, trips, flowers, and jewelry, while she feels absolutely no guilt or compulsion to reciprocate. She is nothing but a whitewashed prostitute. Miss Take thinks her vagina is plated with gold and is worth a million dollars. She is greed personified. Since she has no concept of someone else's feelings, her only interest is in getting what she wants. And don't be fooled -- some apparently very "nice" girls are the greediest of them all.

Arch: Had the bad luck of coming up against Miss Take and Miss Turncoat all rolled into one. One huge bottomless pit that bitch. She sponged on everything, expects me to buy her everything. Even made me buy her now husband dinner. Bitch, I hope the greedy slut chokes on her chow.

Also there is this super-sponge that would shamelessly avoid paying her share of anything. Deny owing any money, gluts down the most expensive items on the menu whenever someone foots the bills. You would expect Ms super-sponge to be a sociopath but she lacks social skills. I think she is a budding psychopath. You should bring Ms Take to every buffet in town so maximize the possibilities of her choking herself on her own chow. Remember to up that insurance policy on her and make sure your are the one to benefit from her passing. Anyone remembered the glutton in the movie "seven"?

3- Miss Romance
This type of woman lives in a fantasy world of Lifetime Channel movies and romance novels. Every night she goes home alone to spend hours flipping through her bride magazines, imagining that, at any moment, Prince Charming will ride up on his white horse, sweep her off her feet, and offer her a problem-free existence for the rest of her life. The Miss Romances of the world have been coddled by parents and family, told they are "princesses," and have absolutely no idea that real life consists of paying bills and cleaning toilets. Miss Romance will expect to be taken care of, will be a dud in bed, and will, almost overnight, turn into a shrieking nag. Run.

Arch: Too many of these "princess" running around. Usually, their charm is akeen to "Deadfish" however, they expects to be treated like royality. These greenhouse nutcases are absolutedly removed from reality. Did all the years of reading Romance novels not taught them any charm? Do they think their t-shirt and baggy jeans will beat a small black dress? Well, if it was a tight wet white thin t-shirt with hot denim shorts....

Dream on, these princesses will be left on the shelves to inherit the King's estate. Bring her on a dream holiday on a private island so exclusive that few can afford to go there. Come back without her. Or you can turn to an Evil warlord, lock her in the ivory towel she so craved for and throw away the key. Better make that seal the door and melt the key.

4- Miss Elusive
This woman is closely allied to Miss Romance, but with a dark side. She is usually one of the "walking wounded" -- someone who has been hurt in past relationships and so subconsciously avoids or sabotages new relationships in the present. Your association with her will be one of utter frustration, as first she shows great interest in you, but very quickly runs away -- then repeats this cycle over and over again. Miss Elusive is the queen of mixed messages. She will flirt with you and date you, but you'll never get past "friend" status. What you will get is a million excuses for her unavailability, all calculated to deceive herself that she just doesn't have time for a relationship. Save yourself some heartache -- don't get involved with her.

Arch: So true!! These women are sick and should be prosecuted for wasting the most valueable resource - time. Did they not hear about "Cry Wolf" or were they away listerning to "Snow White and her Evil Stepmother Witch" when "Cry Wolf" was being told? More like selective hearing I think. Dun waste my time. Period. Send her a letter bomb to get even.

5- Miss Angry
Like Miss Feminists, Miss Angrys really don't like men. They scorn the male gender and can rattle off all the wrongs and misdeeds of every man they've ever encountered. To Miss Angry, there's no such thing as a nice guy -- they're all "jerks," "creeps" and "pigs." Many of them have lots of simmering anger at men, which can explode at any moment like an erupting volcano. Unless you're into lots of drama and screaming, stay away.

Arch: Super-sponge is also Miss Angry. She talks to herself all the time, is quick to assign blame. Never had a kind word for others and always ready to pass out the meanest comments and challenges. She must have rocks in her head for what quality in her qualify her to threat others so badly and yet sponge off them?!!! Her reasoning escapes me. Turn yourself into the monster that she so hated. At least folks around you can understand why she is so angry. Plug off her fingers one at a time while you are in your monster mode. :D

6- Miss Insecure
This woman seems great at the start because she's very nice, accommodating and treats men well. But her inner insecurities don't take long to surface. Pretty soon she's calling you 10 times a day, asking to see "where the relationship is going," or because she "just wants to hear your voice." She needs constant reassurance that she's attractive, and worries incessantly about her makeup, hair and the alignment of her clothes. She's clingy, needy and compulsively agonizes that you're going to leave her at any moment for "someone better." This kind of thing can get really creepy really fast.

Arch: Ah! Miss Super MA-FAN. Super glue, super lor-soh. Luckily no close brushes with this kind. MA-FAN her back. Call her every 2 minutes and ask her to give you every details of what she is doing, with whom and where. Arrange to meet her and but turn up with the most attractive social escort when you meet her on the roof of a tall building. Pass her a bottle of Dettol for good measure.

7- Miss Bitch
Miss Bitches are the sulkers, pouters and ball-busters of the female world. They are very unpleasant people who treat their fellow humans poorly, care only about themselves, and aren't concerned at all if they hurt you or anybody else. Most Miss Bitches qualify as Miss Takes, too. Miss Bitches are usually good-looking and well dressed, and you can easily identify them by the scowls on their faces as they imperiously strut through the world.

Arch: Too many of these!!! Don't stop if you hit one with your car - repeatedly. Carve out her black heart to ensure she does not come back to live. One less bitch in the world tonight.....

8- Miss Me
A close relative of Miss Bitch, Miss Me is entirely focused on herself. Miss Me needs to be the constant center of attention no matter what she does or where she goes. She is a selfish, self-indulgent, self-serving narcissist who was raised as "daddy's little girl," and expects the same from you. Unless you enjoy the company of spoiled brats, stay far, far away.

Arch: Give her a taste of her own medicine. Scream, shout, stamp your feet, etc. Also, your indifference usually does the trick of getting rid of her. Turn selective psycho on her. Cut her up a piece at a time over 12 months, start with her face and remember to put a full body double-wide mirror for her to admire your handiwork.

9- Miss Desperate
Whether it's her baby clock ticking or she's the last of her girlfriends to trap a man, Miss Desperate wants to get married -- now. She doesn't care who the guy is or what he does -- as long as he's got a penis she can drag him to the altar. Watch out for this one!

Arch: Not entirely a bad breed, but fact is they are left on the shelves for some reason. So buyers beware! However, they could be some good finds. However, Miss Desperate can turn into Miss Elusive. Nothing will stop her. Introduce her to your worst enermies to her. Be on a lookout for great deals, ask for presents, flowers and freebies. Perhaps they will throw in the house, bed and kitchen sink if you marry them. Try to get all that without having to actually marry them.

10- Miss Turncoat
She's a conniving little piece of work who's an expert at conning men. Miss Turncoat will tell you exactly what you want to hear until you're hooked deep into the relationship (or married)… and then the truth comes out. Overnight, your sweet little girl turns into a demanding, greedy, mercenary harpy who will browbeat you into submission if she doesn't get her way.

Arch: This is a low woman. Give her all she wants and serve her well. Poison her tea. The disbelieve look on her face when she draws her last breath would be priceless... no... it would still cost you the price of the tea and the poison. Cheap thrills but it's a slow week. Do it.

11- Miss Tease
Usually, you can spot Miss Teases a mile away because she flirts with anything in pants and flaunt her sexuality at every opportunity. Sometimes she sponges off older men; sometimes she's a ball-buster who enjoys getting men sexually excited and then walking away; and sometimes she just basks in her sexual power by attracting men like bees to honey. No matter how she operates, you can't trust her because she craves male attention and if somebody better comes along, she'll dump you in a heartbeat.

Arch: Cock teasers. Enough said. Hate them. Tickle them to death with a sharp blade. Keep them guessing when you gonna land the fatal stab.

12- Miss Controlling
She is a subtly nasty one who will wind up directing every phase of your life. She will tell you what to wear, where to go, who to talk to, what friends you can have, what you can eat -- everything. And if you try to stand up for yourself, she will cut off sex, cry, scream, pout, or use any other deceptive female tactic until you give in and succumb to her demands.

Arch: Try the torture chamber, multiple stabbing, dismemberment - the more she has to suffer, the better chance for your full recovery.

you've been warned!

Anti-Rape Device.. Ouch!

Source http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200506/s1389809.htm
Last Update: Friday, June 10, 2005. 10:05pm (AEST)

Anti-rape device created
An inventor in South Africa has come up with a possible solution to end the country's unenviable reputation of being the rape capital of the world. It is estimated a woman or girl is raped every 26 seconds in South Africa.But inventor Sonette Ehlers says women will soon be able to wear a device which would attach itself to the rapist's penis by microscopic hooks as he withdraws.Ms Ehlers says the device is expected to go on sale by the end of the year."The rape device is a condom, it's shaped almost like a tampon," she said."Hollow inside and the inner wall of it is lined, and there we have got all our technology and little hooks which, upon forced penetration, will attach to the skin of the perpetrator and only a medical doctor can remove it. "He'll have to turn himself in, so he's marked for immediate identification."- BBC
**** End of Article Quote ***

Ouch! Where is the human rights commission when you need them? I can imagine a serial rapist getting caught in one of these, could not take it off so continue to rape with the semi-permanent condom in place. The serial rapist maybe angered and therefore go out to rape more women until he is turned in.

What about the altar boys? Do altar boys have to wear one in their bottom to maintain their chastity too? Does pretty young men have to wear one too. I am Chinese, who will be considered exotic in South Africa. Would I have to wear one? What if your wife is out to screw you and wear one for that "special" occasion?

Do they personalize the devices? The prosecutor will go… “Mr. Rapist Habibi, would you mind taking out your maleness and show it to our panel of 12 jury?” Turning to the jury, “My dear jurors, if you would kindly over look the foul smell from the reservoir of 3 months worth of urine, pick up the magnifying glasses provided to examine the defendant’s maleness, you will find the serial number “G,U,I,L,T,Y,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,1,4,9,1” on the device. According to our sales records – exhibit A, Ms. Victim Chastity is the registered owner of this device.” “Nevermind the fact that my Habibi has petitioned for divorce from Ms. Chastity due to her constant extra-marital affairs and regular poisoning of his dinner, breakfast and toothpaste, he raped Ms, Chastity” Yadiyadayada… hohum, you know the drill.

What good is the after the fact device? Would an experienced bear not check the tree trunk for bees before cracking up the tree-trunk to retrieve the honey? These devices are meant to nap careless and stupid criminals. The device can only be activated after the fact. What good is it to the victim that the violator is prosecuted? They should be looking for devices to prevent the rape, not tag the rapists. Bring back the chastity belt.

OMG! A Tax Bill Of USD$4,372.10!!!

Those of you that have had income from other countries will know the term withholding tax... usually calculated at the maximum tax rate if you do not provide their tax department with your Tax File Number. Now there is some exclusions, for example, if you are not a tax resident of the host country, commonly known as ALIEN. You will not be charge withholding tax (but there maybe a cap for some countries to this tax free threshold). This I presume is for attracting foreign investment into the host country economy. All true and far, or so I thought.

Now I dabble in some foreign shares trading with a certain online broking firm. Let's call this broking firm Cheap Remitters & America Proxy - CRAP for short. I sent in my W-8BEN form to CRAP to certify I am an ALIEN when I opened an account with them some 30 months ago..... All was going well and I was doing fine on my way to financial ruins buying junk stocks that are not worth money plus derivatives that expired out of money.

To the executives at ADBE, CORV, GE, GLW, IBM, MDT, MRK and NT: YOUR STOCK SUCKS! YOUR OPTIONS ARE WORTHLESS!

To add insult to injury, CRAP has started charging me BACKUP WITHHOLDING (W-9) from last November. At first the amounts were rather small USD$15.96, USD$0.06 etc. However, recently I have been hit with 28% BACKUP WITHHOLDING (W-9) in the tune of $1956.84 $1807.46 & $526.10. Now if these amounts were calculated based on my capital gains, it really not that bad, however, these amounts were from my capital+profit/loss from sale. I did a quick calculation and the taxes charge to my account was... OH MY GOD! USD$4,372.10!!!! How the hell did they charge me so much taxes?!! On top of that, I have paid $2284.84 commission over the last 30 months. I am starting to faint... dabbling in options trading is definitely not for the faint hearted.

I bought NT at $4.69 on 25 Jun 2004 and the lousy piece of turd has been going downhill on me. Recently, I finally decided to bite the bullet and take the lose at $2.70 only to find out that CRAP has withheld 28% of the proceeds of the sale of my NT shares less commission and applicable tax. Not only did I lose $1.99 a share, I have to pay 28% tax on what's left of my $2.70 plus brokerage fees! You are starting to see my anger in this ridiculous charges?

Basically, it is the same story with another 2 recent sales that I have decided to take profit, but the profit was not enough to cover the tax. Now why the hell would I want to trade in US stock markets when I can only take profit if my shares goes up more that 28%++ so I can cover their bloody 28% BACKUP WITHHOLDING (W-9) plus brokerage and applicable taxes? So I decided to call them. Queue on the phone was approximately 4 mins. I timed them and hung up on the 7th minute to write them an email to ask about all the taxes charged to me. The following is their advise.

Dear ArchPinky:

Thank you for your inquiry. Upon review of your account we show the restriction causing the backup withholding was in error.

On 1/12/2005 a restriction was placed on your CRAP account. The restriction was put on because we believed the Form W-8BEN on file for your account, which certifies your foreign status, expired. Subsequently, your account's tax status was changed to a US taxpayer and the account was restricted.

The W-8BEN on file for you actually doesn't expire until on 12/31/2005. This form expires on December 31st of the year following the third anniversary of the signature date. To remove the restriction, please complete the attached W-8BEN form for all account holders and mail or fax it to:

Cheap Remitters & America Proxy
PO Box 9999 City ST xxxxx-9999
Fax: xxx-xxx-xxxx

Due to the US address on your account we will also need a copy of your visa or passport and a signed letter explaining why there is this US address on your account. Please note that due to US Treasury regulations we must have the original hardcopy of the W-8BEN form, we can no longer accept this form by fax. Until this paperwork is received, we will be required to withhold 28% of the total amount of any sale, dividend or interest received into your account. These funds will be forwarded to the IRS. Once we have confirmed your continued foreign status we will be able to reverse and credit back to you any funds withheld in the current tax year.

We will remove the restriction for the remainder of this year and reverse the funds withheld, however, the restriction could be placed on again next year due the actual expiration of the form.

If you have further concerns or inquiries, please e-mail us from our secure Web site's "E-mail Us" link. For security reasons, we do not answer account specific questions that originate from a source other than the secure Web site.

Sincerely,
Wendi Wanker, Tax Team, CRAP
Division of Cheap Remitters & America Proxy, Inc. (CRAPI)

I went online to verify my address and my address is the same Singapore (foreign) address I used to open the account, How is Singapore a part of USA? I know we watch a lot of US movies and sitcoms, does that mean that USA owns us now? The jokes about Upper Serangoon being U.S. is all true?!!!

I called CRAP again and this time waited 11 minutes to talk to their customer representative. A certain Sany Vowlva attended my call. After I identified myself and spilled my guts about my $4,372.10 tax charged to me and that I have no idea what the statement about my foreign address is all about, she put me on hold for another 10 mins. Came back to say she sees the issue and she will lodge an inquiry into the taxes charged to me by mistake of CRAP's part. I hope I dun have to file US taxes next year to recover the money. Filling in forms is such a pain.

Now that is some woman!

Now this is a knockout woman with an interesting attitude! She young, famous and beautiful. Should have a decent stash in her lingerie drawers too. On top of that she is very well adapted in keeping her husband by her side.

I don't mean to say that the husband is a red-neck, wife beating, beer-drinking, drug abusing, useless rocker bastard, but I can't see what's with him that his wife, who can obviously be independent of him, will turn a blind eye to all his extra-marital activities. Love is not blind, love chose to be blind. Interesting articule. I am considering writing thousands of fan letters and casting as many votes for Kate as possible in next year's FHM 100 hottest women.

Quoted from http://entertainment.msn.com/music/hotgossipB3

Hudson to Hubby: Don't Tell Me If You Stray

Is a don't-ask-don't-tell policy the secret to Kate Hudson's marital success with Chris Robinson? The actress, 26, tells Access Hollywood that while she prefers the stringy-haired rocker, 38, stays a one-woman man, she understands that monogamy isn't always realistic.
And should it ever become an issue in their nearly five-year union (they have a 1-year-old son, Ryder), Kate has a very clear idea of how it should be handled.
"If for some reason that's what he has to go do, I just don't want to know about it," she tells the show. "Just don't get caught."

But Hudson, who says she will remain true to her hirsute hubby, doesn't extend her blind-eye approach to his appreciation of the opposite sex.
"To me there's nothing more attractive than when I see my husband finding another woman attractive," Goldie's little girl says (and no, we don't believe her, either).
When not getting hot and bothered watching her spouse check out chicks, Kate is apparently warding off nattering nabobs of negativity.

"When I'm around people who have bad energy, I usually carry some water and I just kind of, like, put it on myself," she says (as quoted by Sky News). "It's not like a holy water, just something to cleanse myself if someone's really negative. And I carry around crystals too. I feel it's important to protect yourself."

(Sure, it sounds like neo-flower power-speak, but at least it doesn't involve wearing a red string bracelet or getting hooked up to an E-meter.)
Hudson, currently out stumping for her New Orleans-set thriller "The Skeleton Key," also reveals how "fascinating" she finds psychics.

"We can see our three-dimensional world -- that's where we exist -- but it's proven that we exist in a multi, multi-dimensional realm and how amazing to be able to tap in to those other dimensions," she reportedly says. "I'm not afraid of that kind of stuff. I think everyone's psychic. It's just believing in your intuition."

Winner of Complaint Letter in the UK

Below is a copy of a letter that won a competition in UK as complaint letter of the year...have a laugh and read on. The British do have a way with words....

A real-life customer complaint. letter sent to NTL (to their complaints dept....).
Dear Cretins,

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office: My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website....HOW?

I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes- an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools -such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers. I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off);that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don’t care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music.

Forgive me, therefore, if I continue. I thought BT were ****, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of godawfulcustomer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn’t anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum incompetents of the highest order. British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees.

Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.

John

To Fart We Will, To Eat We Dare

As mentioned, we got ourselves over to Gandhi's for some authentic (South) Indian food. 5 of us got some nice pepper chicken, mutton curry, curry sotong, masala eggs with the rice.

I am all charged up with curry power now, so much so that I feel all farty. In fact, I have already visited the little boys room for No. 1 a.k.a. Pau making. In fact, my stools looks like it has got a light green tint. Am afraid it might be stomach flu again. No fear of lack of gas propulsion for the rest of the day. Definitely will be FARTY today.

Purse Cases for SONY PSP

Some interesting PSP Purse/Cases that cost anywhere up to USD $180 (yikes!)

Vaja PSP Leather Case USD $180

Kurry Klub - Gandhi Restaurant in Little India

Gandhi Restaurant in little India is our favorite haunt for local (South) Indian curry. This is probably one of the best curry you will find from the local scene. I found out about this place from a fellow running a sundry shop next to Movenpick Marché at The Heeren on Orchard Road. I was captivated by the smell of the curry and asked him where he packed his take away curry. The fellow got it all the way from Gandhi Restaurant on Chander Road in Little India. So the hunt was on...

You can smell the fragrance of the curry from a fair distance away. Not the cleanest of restaurant, but decent enough for local standards. The place reminds me of the tuckshops from my school days. There is a series of stainless steel water vase and drinking cups. Most folks eats with their hands the traditional way. Forks and spoons are also available for you to eat off the banana leaf. Yes, BANANA LEAF! Very interesting setup.

The waiter/server(can I can him that?) will give you a tray with a banana leaf on it. He will usually put 2 different vegetables, 1 preserved vege, option of steam rice or yellow rice, plus whatever dishes you order. There is usually a choice of curry. I recommend fish curry over your rice. You can add yogurt to your rice to mellow out the spicy curry. The papadams helps too.

The lime juice is good relieve for the spices, the masala tea, you need to try! I recon the fishead curry is not worth having. Mutton is not too nice as they tend to over cook their mutton. The sotong is heavab. Fried chicken, masala chicken is good.

Tomorrow, we will bring Pradeep, a co-worker from India visiting us this week to Gandhi. Yum Yum!

Gandhi Restaurant
29-31 Chander Road
Opening hours : 7am - 11pm

Woke up so eucking farly today...

Woke up so eucking farly today... so much so that I am still a bit of a flur buck at this time. A whole lot of schedule clashes just to organize a meet-up. *sigh* what a day. Lunch was some char siew noodles and dumplings that does not seems to agree with me. Dunno what it was really, the Amoy food market stalls looks clean enough, but it could always be the hawker him/herself.

Anyhow, am going to attempt to go to the gym today. Wish me luck and hope i survive to tell the tale.

To fight, we will... TO lead, we dare... all the way!